A Servant's Heart

Isaiah 1: 10, 16-20

Matthew 23: 1-12

It is fascinating right now to read all the articles about the preparations for the Conclave to elect the new pope.  Transition seems to take on historical proportions, but when all is said and done, not much will change.  Perhaps that is how it should be.  In persecution the Church thrives.  In controversy the Church hides behind every conceivable shadow the vast structure creates.

Whether the times are glorious, or dark, leaders of the Church are given a mandate in the gospel to be servants even before they are to be teachers, spiritual guides, or figures of authority.  From the Pope to parents who teach their children to pray, leaders of the faith are called to serve the needs of others.  That means they look beyond themselves to see the needs of others and meet them before they meet their own.  

When I examine my conscience I find the shame that pains me most stems from the sins of pride and greed.  These are sins that say I, and the authority I am given, are more important than serving the needs of others.  When I become more important than you, we’re all in trouble, and from that we should hide.  I was sent here to lead you in love.  To serve you in Persona Christi.  For the times I’ve failed, I’m sorry.  

My most fervent is to have a servant’s heart.

The Chair of St. Peter

1 Peter 5: 1-4 - Priests, don’t lord your power over the people.

Matthew 16: 13-19 - Peter: “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God.

We celebrate a special feast today, it is known as The Chair of St. Peter.  This feast does not celebrate where Peter sat, but rather, the authority he was given by Jesus.  All Peter had to do was speak what he believed, “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God,” and he received the keys to the kingdom of heaven.  Keys are more than tools to get in and out of locked doors, they represent authority, they represent power.  Even the name “Peter” is symbolic of this new authority he was given.  In Aramaic “Kephas” meant rock, but when we read the Gospels it’s very easy to wonder, why Simon?  His abilities as an authority figure were less than stellar.  After promising he would stay with Jesus to the end, he ran from the Garden of Gethsemene.  At the trial he denied Jesus three times.  At times it was clear that Simon would much rather be fishing for Mackerel than for people.  He was a late bloomer, though, and he learned from his experiences of leading the Church how to discern what is best for those who were baptized into the Church.  He learned how to shepherd them with good pastoral gentleness and care.

His authority is that of a rock, not a mountain protecting some mighty fortress, but one upon which to be seated, to think, discern, and decide.  It is a place upon which the Gospel can be proclaimed.  It is a place from which the teachings of the Church can be told to disciples who are eager to learn.

WANT SOME PEANUT BUTTER ON THAT ROCK?

Esther 12: 14-16, 23-25 - Queen Esther’s prayer in a time of trouble

Matthew 7: 7-12 - In God we trust for the good things we need in this life.

How much do we trust God?  Is divine providence good enough for us?  Or is it better to settle for our own satisfaction?  When I choose to settle for what is going to please me, for what I think is going to be best for me; when I demand that God should give me what I think is best, I can say with certainty, that I will never be satisfied.  God cannot please me if I settle for what I want.

Divine providence, even if it is not what I desire, has a way of exceeding my desires, or even the things I feel I really need.  Last week I wanted a sandwich, but I didn’t have any bread, or stuff to put in it, and was about to put my jacket on to go to McDonalds when all of a sudden the doorbell rang and there was a parishioner with a piping hot dish of pasta, meatballs, and Italian sausage - enough for two big meals.  Not bad, I thought, not bad.  

So often what we think we need is not what God wants for us.  To entrust our lives to providence, without condition or reservation will lead to a satisfaction that exceeds our expectations in vast abundance, because God knows the needs of our hearts even better than we do, and his desire for us is a happiness beyond what we can know.

REPENT SINNERS!

Repent, change your ways, stop your sinning now or you will die!  What a great story!  The best stories are are about sinners who turn their lives around to become as good as saints.  God’s Word breaks through the hardness of their hearts.  They struggle to turn their lives around and in the end they do something so heroic, so good and their redemption gives us great hope in the ordinariness of our daily existence.

“Oh, wait... Me?  Ha, ha, you want me to change?  Oh, uh, I can’t right now.  Do you know how much work and energy I would have expend to repent?  Besides, I’m just an ordinary person.  As long as my life continues on the way it is, that’s redemption enough for me.  I’m good enough just the way I am, right?”

God wants us to be living signs of mercy, forgiveness and divine love.  There is so much anger, violence and anxiety in our world caused mostly by sin.  We think a great deal about ourselves and what we want our lives to be and heaven help those who interrupt our progress.  

Lent gives a reason to pause and take a good look at our own lives.  It reminds us that a different story has to be told and we are the sinful characters called to be saints.  In stillness then, in silence, we fast unseen, we put on sackcloth unnoticed, we rend our hearts pleading for mercy from the depths our souls so only God will hear.  The story is still a good one.  It will inspire others to repent, and we become living signs of the mercy of God in the world.

A SIMPLE PRAYER

Words, whether they come from God or us, have the power of meaning behind them.  Meaning gives words life because we are able to understand what is said, and why the word has been communicated.    Quite often we get the feeling that the more we say, the more power there will be behind the meaning  of what's said.  But what we find is this: It is better to speak the truth with simplicity and clarity.

The Lord's Prayer is as perfect a prayer as there can be.  It was spoken by Jesus as an example of prayer for his followers.  It was remembered by them and has been handed down from generation to generation for nearly 2,000 years.  It is a prayer we as Roman Catholics and followers of Jesus Christ say daily.  The Lord's Prayer says it all.  Jesus called God "Abba" which means "Poppa," or "Daddy."  It is delightful to think of God as a loving dad who listens to his children.

The petitions we ask in this prayer are much deeper than the call to piety or holiness because they are about our physical, emotinal and spiritual needs.  We cannot live without food and so we pray for our daily bread to sustain us.  This bread is sacramental, it is Eucharisitic, but it is also physical.  We are dependent upon this food for our lives.

In these angry times we pray for mercy for our own sins, and for the sins others commit against us.  Mercy is a powerful emotional gift of healing.  We are so deeply wounded by many hard words and actions, and mercy is the salve that calms our suffering.

As children, it is easy for us to lose our way, no matter what our age, and so we need to depend upon the light of Christ to guide us on our way.  We have to trust that light, believe in its goodness, and follow it with firm resolve so that we will be delivered from evil.  By ourselves, we tend to get lost.  With this helpful prayer we are given great hope.

I AM HUNGRY, THIRSTY, HOMELESS, NAKED, SICK AND IMPRISONED: I AM THE LORD YOUR GOD

Lv 19:1-3, 11-18 - Knowledge of the Lord comes from the law

Mt 25: 31-46 - Knowledge of the Lord comes from serving the poor

How well do we know God?  Our understanding of who God is begins when we reach the age of reason.  For most people that’s about seven or eight years old.  If we went to Catholic grade school, or CCD, we were given images of God that have, perhaps, remained unchanged throughout our lives.

One such image is the God we see in Leviticus, a word that means “law.”  “You shall not curse the deaf, or put a stumbling block in front of the blind, but you shall fear your God.  I am the lord.”  If our image of God is the giver of the law, and the one who judges us, we are right, and it is important for us to be obedient to the law, like little children are obedient to their parents and teachers.  Throughout our lives we fear God, hopefully in a reverent way.  However, even reverential fear can be, at best, a weak motivation for remaining faithful to this legalistic image of God.

Another image of God comes from the Gospel.  Jesus Christ, the Son of God, presents himself as one who is poor, one who is lowly, one who suffers from starvation and thirst, homelessness and nakedness, sickness and imprisonment; he is a stranger and like little children we tend to be afraid of strangers, we shy away from them, we protect ourselves from them.

We cling to comfortable, familiar images of God expecting, perhaps, that when the day of judgment comes we will recognize our Creator.  It is when we are able to outgrow our childhood images, though, the familiar, the comfortable, and easy images we have of God, that his face becomes more apparent in this life now.  

No matter what images we cling to God wants us to know and love him.  So we must see God with the eyes of our hearts.

SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED

Saturday after Ash Wednesday

Isaiah 58: 9b-14 - The importance of keeping the Sabbath
Luke 5: 27-32 - Sinners need to hear the call to repentance, not the righteous

Tax collector's back in Jesus day had a pretty nice gig.  They lived high on the hog, had friends in high places (and low places too), and all because they were legally able to take large amounts of money from the middle and lower classes of people.  Much of that money they got to keep perhaps, for being seen as the scum of the earth by the vast majority of citizens.  Levi must have lived in a world filled with hate.  It's hard to love people and take more money from them than they can afford to give.  Hearing the hatred and scorn all around him must have taken a toll.  And perhaps there was at least a little self-loathing that made him feel it was time for a change.

"Follow me" the stranger said.  Imagine what Levi must have felt when Jesus said those words.  They were probably the kindest words Levi had heard in a long time.  Someone wanted him.  Those two words were all Levi need.  He left his work, his money, his way of life behind.  He even had a farewell party with all his "associates."

Maybe we would be scandalized by Jesus eating with the likes of Levi and his friends.  How could someone as holy and good as the rabbi from Nazareth be dining with the likes of such terrible sinners.  I can just see Jesus wiping gravy from his mouth to tell the righteous people that he's just what the doctor ordered.  These people filled with hate need mercy, or they will die in their shame.  In a world that would say, "Good, let them die" it's nice to know that there is always another chance for redemption, not only for the sinners we see around us, but also the one we see in the mirror.  If we ever feel like we're sick and tired of being sick and tired, those two words might just change everything - if we're willing to walk away from sin and hate, and to live in the presence of Love.

FASTING AND FEASTING

FRIDAY AFTER ASH WEDNESDAY

Isaiah 58: 1-9a - The kind of fasting God desires.
Matthew 9: 14-15 - The kind of feasting Christ desires.

WE GET TO DECIDE what kind of day today is.  

It could be a day of fasting; a day in which we choose to deprive ourselves of stuff that fills us up and makes us feel happy.  Our fast can be as simple as giving up dessert, or as profound as feeding another person who is physically hungry.  Our fast can be as slight as feeling the desire to taste the sweetness of butter-pecan ice cream with hot fudge, and saying, “No.”  Or, as sublime as staying awake to be present with someone; a child, a spouse, a neighbor, relative or friend who is in pain.  Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me.

It could be a day to celebrate a wedding feast with fine rich foods, delectable Champaign, wedding cake, music and dancing.  It could be a day for us to laugh, share memories of our faith, tell stories of romance, dream about the future, and bask in the warm glow of true love between a bride and a groom, a love that is eternal, a love that never ends, a love that defines who we are as members of the mystical Body of Christ.

Either way, fasting or feasting, we are given this day to meet Christ; in the suffering we feel as we deprive ourselves, or in the joy of ever present love.  Today is a day to open ourselves to the Christ who saves us, feeds us, dies for us so that we might have life with him.

“Offer it up, Timtom, offer it up,” Grandma Murray would smile and say that to me when I would complain to her because my sisters were teasing me.  Grandma had an interesting habit of repeating her point.  

She was on crutches much of my childhood years.  She endured tremendous pain: years of alcohol abuse and years of fruitful recovery; the death of her husband when a ditch he was digging caved in on him; years of trying to make peace with her family.  Years of physical ailments and Parkinson's Disease.  As a boy, I only knew about the crutches she always seemed to need.  “Offer it up, Timtom, offer it up.”

There was deep theology in what she was saying.  She telling me to endure my childish pain in the same way Jesus endured his cross.  In her own way, she was telling me that there can be something good, something redemptive about the pains we experience in our lives.  They can bear fruit for us; the wisdom of knowing “This too shall pass,” and when it does, I will grow, I will be a better person.  Grief, loneliness, physical pain, emotional pain; these things come and go, and they teach us something about the value of our lives.  When they pass, and we no longer feel the crosses we have carried, gratitude, and joy; Easter, arise from the depths of our souls, where the heaviness is endured.  

“Offer it up, Timtom, offer it up.”  Take up that cross, feel it without complaint, learn from it, let it create the mercy suffering causes within your soul.  And if that doesn’t work, Timtom, you still cannot pinch your sisters.  Just leave them alone.

I completely forgot I had this blog going.  The last time I posted anything was July.  I am going to work on this blog again, and hopefully those who, like me, have forgotten its very existence can share their wisdom with me.  My goal is to share my Lenten homilies from daily Mass as often as I can.  This blog will be posted on the parish website very soon.